Get Busy

Being unhappy is rubbish, I should know I used to be a right misery guts!! I've learned to be happy though and I'd love to pass that on to anybody out there in the world who needs a bit of apush start.

One of the keys to keeping happy is just to keep busy. Depression keeps us thinking about doing things and then worrying about what might happen and finally telling ourselves that there is no point in trying because it will never work! Failure seems like the worst possible outcome - and it also seems like it is ineviytable.

The way out of this is just to do something, anything! Tidy your living space, clean the kitchen, learn to play an instrument, draw a picture, write a poem, call a friend, alphebeticise your record collection, start a political party... It really doesn't matter what you do as long as you do something. You might get bored or give up after 20 minutes, no problem, have a rest, pick yourself up, dust yourself down and start all over again.

You'll find that one thing leads to another and soon you won't have to push yourself, you'll have the momentum to just keep going.

The ideal activity will be so engrossing that you will lose all track of time, like when you were a kid playing some game and the whole morning passed without you realizing it and you missed lunch! There's a book all about this called flow which goes into extreme detail about what types of things do this best, but it's generally hobbies and things where you can measure your progress. But you can make any activity a flow activity by making agame out of it.

And one thing leads to another and before you know it you are head of the local crocheting association and about to marry the teasurer... well, it might happen. If you don't start crocheting you will never know!

Comments

i always want othrs around me to be happy..but the only probllem one of my friends has ..her mind....yea..maybe some think its a bit strange...but sometimes....when isolated ..her minds takes her somewhere she never wants to go .....any solution? i askd her whole lot of times to forget the "yesterday thoughts" but don know...actually she stays away from praying and may be thats the biggestproblem ..she 's my bestest friend...plz help ....if you can tell the solution ....plz!!!

I know what it's like to not be in control of your thoughts, I was in the same condition for maby years - and I just thought that was normal! The really good news is that there is something you can do to fix it.

The human mind is like a naughty dog that just rushes around trying to catch rabbits. It goes places we don't want and causes all kinds of problems. What your friend needs to do is to train her mind like you would train a dog. It's not the dogs fault, it loves to chase rabbits, but both you and the dog will be happier once it can be obedient and walk to heel.

It's not easy to control your mind, but it is something you can learn to do. The first step is to be aware of what your mind is doing and understand that you can do something to change it. I'm reading a fabulous book at the moment called "Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life's Most Important Skill" by Matthieu Ricard which is full of buddhist meditaion techniques to help you calm your mind down and get it to go to the places that you want - and stop chasing those bloody rabbits!

If your friend is very depressed of course, she should get get some medical help, maybe talk to her GP. Anti-depressants helped me enourmously when I was in that state and helped me get to a point where I could start to help myself.

Good luck to both of you. It's a hard road, but you CAN do it.


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